Of Hot Air, and Balloons
by TheVulpineHero1
Summary: More experimental ongoing Rainbow Pie shipping, except this time even more experimental! Still flailing with characterisation, so any advice welcome.
1. Slow Burn

_-Slow Burn-_

* * *

Her muscles ache, her eyes stream; the fibres of her being are ripped, frayed at the edges. After a night's rest they will knit together, entwining like snakes and winding her ever tighter, the drawstring of Cupid's bow. Pinkie meets her when she lands, full of energy, of innocence. She doesn't know about flight, the mad folly of the fall.

It would be so easy to just let herself go, to collapse into her friend and steal that innocence for herself. This time, she doesn't.

But her muscles ache, her eyes stream; sooner or later, something will come crashing down.

* * *

Pinkie is not known for her patience. The world blurs by, and she cannot bear to miss it. Yet, she waits each day to watch Dash's practice, to take in the blurs of colour Dash leaves behind as she carves through the sky. She wants to share that feeling, and knows she cannot.

But, somewhere in the hurried doodles of her mind, Pinkie knows that there's more than one way to fly. So what patience she has, she gives away freely; and when her friend staggers, exhausted, to her side, she smiles. Some things, she thinks, are worth waiting for.

* * *

A/N: As usual, the rub: this is going to be a Rainbow Pie collection, but with a slight difference from the previous drabble collections I've contributed to the fandom thus far. Firstly, it's going to be ongoing, so more than ten chapters for y'all this time. Secondly, I'm going to use it as a little experimental pit for when I want to test stuff out; about once every 10 chapters or so I'll change format or focus or something.

For this battery of ten, I'm going to be 'droubling'; that is, each entry will be exactly 200 words (or as close as my worthless word count will allow). However, instead of one long drouble, I shall break it down into two 200 word chunks, looking at the prompt from both character focuses if I can. Even if it doesn't work (I have my doubts about the concept) it ought to be interesting.

Oh, and I'm looking to take a lighter touch (at least for now) on this collection whilst I work out some of the kinks in characterisation. Expect sudden comedy.


	2. Head In The Clouds

_-Head In The Clouds-_

* * *

Rainbow knows she has it bad when she starts seeing her in the cloud formations. There's a pretty big difference between Pinkie and a massive cumulonimbus cloud, but she just can't see it; the fluffy vapour looks altogether too much like her mane, curls upon curls.

Meditatively she sculpts, and wonders if this is what her mane would feel like; fluffy, bouncy, insubstantial. But insubstantial is the wrong word, for her.

Before she knows it, she's finished, and stands back to admire her work. She never realised that storm clouds could be beautiful before.

Not that she'd ever admit it.

* * *

The best days are spent with friends, so Pinkie's delighted when Twilight and Fluttershy burst into Cupcake Corner. Twilight drags her outside, points to the clouds and asks, "Pinkie, is this your doing?"

It isn't, but she likes it. _Everypony_ should have an awesome cloud version of themselves.

"Ooh! Idea! I should make _Dashie cookies!_" she shouts, and offers no explanations.

"I don't get those two. Oh well," Twilight sighs, shaking her head. "I suppose we'll be the first ponies ever to have eaten Rainbow Dash."

Fluttershy squeaks and breaks out in a luminescent blush. She refuses to explain why.

* * *

A/N: Ho ho ho double entendre.


	3. Bare Cupboards

_-Bare Cupboards-_

* * *

It isn't like she can't cook. She can do anything, except wear those stupid fru-fru dresses Rarity keeps brandishing at her. It's just that ovens tend to have drastic effects on a house made of water vapour. So, that's that. She _can_ cook. She just sort've _can't_.

So having an eager earth pony friend who happens to cook for a living is a blessing. But _sometimes_ she worries about the price she pays. Reading from a script that Pinkie wrote herself?

"Okay, now put on the Puddinghead hat, and blow the trumpet!" Pinkie giggles.

Actually, she means _all_ the time.

* * *

"Pinkie, this is ridiculous," Dash pouts. "I'm not reading this."

She tries to storm out, but it doesn't help when the pony you're storming away from skips along in your wake.

"But _Dashie_," Pinkie wheedles, "We need to practice for the performance next week."

"Performance? We're _performing?_ In _public?_" Dash spits.

"Yup, it'll be so much _fun_! Now, repeat after me. 'I love you, Commander Hurricane!'"

"...Wait, if I'm Puddinghead, then who's-"

"Me, silly! And Fluttershy's Clover the Clever! She just doesn't know it yet!"

Rainbow Dash blanches, and gets the feeling she's in for one heck of a show.


	4. Observation

_-Observation-_

* * *

Of course, I know that nothing's really changed. Not really. Pinkie confessing that she has a crush on me doesn't, like, alter the laws of physics or anything- when you flap your wings you go up, and when you fall you go down, after about a second's worth of comedic pause. Nothing's changed.

But I _notice_ it more. Like, when she bursts out of a fireplace, I think 'What if the fire was actually lit'? When she leaps into the punch bowl, I worry about her drowning. That kind of thing. It's dumb, I know.

Nothing's changed. Apart from me.

* * *

Dashie's watching me watch her watch me watch the Cutie Mark Crusaders watch me watching her watch me, so we're going around in circles and Scootaloo's like, 'Hello? Equestria to Captain McAwesome, AKA Rainbow Dash?', but Dashie's being awkward with me because she turned me down and I don't mind but a watched kettle can't bake a cake, silly. It's all so weird I could just write a song about it, but that would make things even more awkward and I'm not allowed to sing when I'm baking because Mr. Cake says 'we all know what happened last time'. Yay!

* * *

A/N: Note to self: Even when the lack of any real relevence to the situation is exaggerated for comedic effect, Pinkie Pie's thought processes do not fit in 100 words. _Eeeeveeeeeeeeer. _


	5. Hello, Moon Flip A Coin For Me

_-Hello, Moon (Flip A Coin For Me)-_

* * *

They met upon the old forgotten stile, far below the clouds of her home; the mareless moon waxed high above them, tauntingly close and yet so far, her light washing the colour from the town and its alleys.

They met to exchange secrets, because secrets are like gifts- to be given only to the right pony, and rude to give away once received.

There, Pinkie Pie told her a secret to rock her world, to stimulate her senses, to buckle her wings in flight. It was life changing, age defining- the ancient whispers of love gods in her ear.

_Not_.

* * *

"You ate twelve ginger snaps without asking when you were a filly. Is that _honestly_ what you came here to tell me?" Dash asked incredulously.

"What were you expecting, silly?" the earth pony wondered, too loudly.

"I dunno!" Dash snorted. "Crushes, confessions, the good stuff!"

She once heard that an unrevealed secret is like a flipped coin. You don't know the outcome, but suddenly you realise what you _want_ the outcome to be. For the first time, she understood what it meant.

"Dashie? Have you got a secret for me?" Pinkie asked, suddenly quiet.

"Not on your life," she lies.

* * *

A/N: Hmm...These have been interesting, but I'm not really getting what I want from them, maybe because I'm unfamiliar with the characters, maybe because I'm unfamiliar with the format. Methinks I'll change it up a little next chapter. Also, for anyone waiting on Draw or Music Makes The Heart: I plan to have them updated within the next three or four days.


	6. Penny Dreadful

A/N: Well, for the next set of these, I've decided to lengthen out a little bit and try some 500 word pieces. Go me, I guess.

* * *

_-Penny Dreadful-_

* * *

Rainbow Dash took a moment to ensure her door was securely locked. Not, of course, that it mattered. Anypony who actually wanted to see her would be more than capable of getting through it- Twi had teleportation, Applejack could just knock the friggin' thing down, Fluttershy would pull her Jedi mind tricks, Rarity had enough hairpins to pick all the locks in Canterlot, and since when had doors ever stopped Pinkie Pie? But it created the _illusion _of privacy, and that was enough. With only Tank watching, she nonchalantly opened the magazine, and skipped the articles (erudite as she was sure they were) to get to the part she was really interested.

Oh, _baby._

For almost five whole minutes, she was blindsided by a world of leather and of lace, forbidden delights leaping from every page. The accentuation on the flanks, the sensation of motion conveyed by the static pictures! Best of all, the quiet smile shared by every model, stallion or mare...She gave a guilty little shiver even to think of it. Gasping, she decided that now would be the time for a stiff glass of (free) apple juice. Oh, the joys of knowing apple farmers.

When she got back, she noticed her door was not closed as she had left it, and that Tank was strangely quiet. But only _after_ she noticed that every single pony in her magazine had gained a new, jet-black moustache.

_"Surprise!"_

There were many strange and wonderful sights to be seen in Equestria, but few stranger and more wonderful than watching Pinkamena Diane Pie extricate herself from a turtle shell that was half her height and width, and which still contained a turtle to boot.

"Oh, Dashie. You should see your face! It's all like 'bleaaaagah'!" she giggled.

"H-hey, Pinkie. I, uh, didn't see you there. Say, um, you didn't, um, look at my magazine, didja?" Dash asked, and felt sweat on her brow.

"Of course I did! How did you think I got the moustaches so _pretty?_" Pinkie asked, and cocked her head to the side. "But, wow, Dashie. I didn't think you were into that sort of thing."

"Shut up. You can't tell _anypony_. Especially not Fluttershy, but _especially _not Rarity," Dash hissed.

"Of course not. But why are you so worried about a little fashion magazine?" Pinkie asked.

"I got a reputation to consider. Now, do you promise to keep this a secret?" Dash glared. The magazine on the bed seemed to look up at her, accuse her, as she swore Pinkie to secrecy.

* * *

"Have y'all got the goods?"

Dash took the magazine out of a borrowed greatcoat and passed it over. Her client looked over it in the moon's light, eyes dilated in the darkness.

"Same time next week, Sugarcube?"

"Sure. Take care."

A pair of eyes, luminous white, opened between the two.

"_Surprise!_" the newcomer stage whispered. "By the way, you'd look _awe_some in that one from page 36..."

* * *

A/N: You know, originally this was going to be shippy, but then I decided I wanted to waste a chapter making it seem as though RD was looking at teh pronz. I regret nothing. Also, for some reason I just _love_ the idea of fashion magazines being black market material for Dash and AJ.

I know I said the next thing I'd do would be Draw/Music Makes The Heart, but...eh. I'm just not feeling too hot at the moment. So sue me.


End file.
